Whats the matter with Portuguese Tart???

Mini tarts: Check out my new pic site, http://picasaweb.google.com/bonniearthur.desouza for the latest trips I did. First was Copenhagen then Prague. I love this new site for its simplicity, ease to upload and its a Google product! Reason for this change is unfortunate as my other sister site has been closed! :(
By the way...HAPPY EASTER to all!


This whole delayed postings issue seems to be bugging me a lot! Thing is...I cant really help it myself. Yes it does have to do with lack of time....but when there actually is time...theres isnt any motivation! It has been like that ever since the new year!

And how do the happy-go-lucky sort of person that is ME lose any motivation?

Well, if it includes everything about your PRIMARY GOAL of being abroad - to build your career - then it definitely has A LOT to do with your motivation. In short...I ve had the DREAM INTERNSHIP for the first 6 months...then with just a few changes here and there with regards to personnels within my department...EVERYTHING went downhill!! Its like the NIGHTMARE INTERNSHIP every intern shudders at!

Picture this;
A great start to your internship. Proven yourself to your boss. Given the ultimate honor of presenting company and my MBA Program to business schools. Travelling to really great locations where the schools are at (Barcelona, Madrid, London, Paris, Milan etc!). Great working environment and wonderful colleagues and friends. All this while still learning a lot! I loved to come to work...now thats MOTIVATION!! I have not taken a single day off if it wasnt for travelling.

Then...

Enter a new dept head, whom my old boss was competing against for the position. Because of that the new dept head...for short, lets just call her the bitch...look at my boss as a major pain in the ass threat! Well, my boss...a tough nut she...is anything but German in the sense that she speaks her mind out, even if ruffles a few feathers (referring to the bitch, in this case its fur!). All this politicking got to a boiling point that it involved the business unit head even...think cats fighting! So my old boss decided to leave the dept. I had a new boss...who doesnt seem to see eye to eye with my old boss either...so where would you think I'll stand in her eye?

Anyways, came the new year...and a new boss. Good start...apparently. One begins to wonder if she really would mentor or coach me. Anyways, new direction brought forward by the bitch means less emphasis on my program (its not bringing in the ROI's invested). GREAT! But still cant just pull the plug of the program...we re in the midst of external marketing phase, which means travelling to schools to present the program. As I am the only one who knows the program inside out...makes sense for me to go for it...right...WRONG!! Bitch says..."cannot bring an INTERN to present the program...". So there you go...sit down while my new boss and bitch go on a holiday! I was actually bad enough to wish that their visits will fail! Lucky me...there were some clashes in dates...so I did went for a few places to present, of which I absolutely loved (remember...as long as the attention is on me, I ll deliver a message!).

Then came the worst week ever in my internship...I applied for a position which was vacanted by a good friend within the dept, besides my boss, this girl was also my professional mentor. Guess why she left...cuz she cant stand the bitch as well! And her position...responsible for inductions and manage an internship program. Seeing that she got this position right after her internship (the days when you re able to stay cuz you re GOOD!), why the heck I wouldnt get this. Well...naive me again.

My current boss had her intern apply for it, she and the bitch then changed the role to include the program which my current boss and her intern manages...silly me was still optimistic to apply. I then got a mail which said I wasnt even shortlisted...this after 4 weeks long! Coming back to the worst week ever...I sent a mail to my business unit head (the one that stopped the catfight) on the advice of my former boss to see if I can gauge his networks and find me a job. This somehow got misinterpreted and he sent it back to the bitch, all in good sense that my dept head should be able to help me. NOT!!!! I was summoned to her office...apparently it was taken as overstepping her authority (what rubbish!!), told that well they dont see a position that would fit me, plus the position which was opened...it was best for someone with 3-5 years experience. While I just nodded my head ... here comes the best part! Bitch then preceeded to give me an unexpected evaluation, one that went..."your performance so far has been BELOW AVERAGE", and she said it two words TWICE! I asked why...she just replied nonchalantly to ask my supervisor, my new boss...whom I then did....and she simply said..."ohh, I didnt know she said that!" Totally...WTF!!!
Oh yeah, so guess who got the position in the end?? The intern of my boss...3-5 years my arse!

Anyways...fast forward till today. Just two Fridays ago...my old boss has left the company to pursue another career! There goes my remaining professional mentor. Plus my current boss...she also left for a new position out of the company. Not like she was any help to me...but nevertheless am now alone. Brings a whole new meaning to NO MOTIVATION!

So...putting it in an analogy of being in a restaurant. My search for something permanent here is akin to sitting in a table and having a menu (referring to the opportunities at a glance). Its a great sign compared to weeks ago when I didnt have a menu yet! As of right now, I havent ordered yet. Once my food arrives...you ll hear about it for sure!