Funny la Manila (part i)

So the adventures of the unexpected consultant continues...this time bringing the Portuguese Tart to Philippines...again! Better yet...this time i am based in the office situated right smack in the "Bukit Bintang" area of Manila (Makati), unlike the Cheras of Manila (no disrespect to Cheras folks though :P)

I totally missed my business travels; the new country feel, different office environment, cultures and diversity...yes down to the hotels as well (ready made bed, privacy and luxury...the best that business trips can buy!). And its one thing going to the a country you ve been before...but going to a country which you totally love is another! Too bad not all shared the same excitement of heading to Manila though; cant blame them for thinking the recent typhoon and stereotypical fears of third world country / terrorism / random reasons which could cloud their expectations.

But whats there NOT to like about Philippines!?

I absolutely love the accent (not just happy looking like one, I take pride in speaking like one too!), the girls are the BEST LOOKING in South East Asia (I VOUCH for it!), I ve got heaps of good, dear friends from Philippines (mabuhay Jennie Lee, Liv, Amy etc shucks, all Pinoy girls)...but best of all the SMILES! You would bet that babies delivered are not crying out of the womb but laughing / smiling their way out...and probably tickling their mummies too! :D Or maybe thanks to Krispy Kreme they re always on a sugar high...hence the smile always! Yummsss....Krispy Kreme...but thats for another post!

(While typing this...a bunch of Pinoys whom I ve met while facilitating in an AIESEC conference in Taiwan wayyy back in 04 is planning to show me around this weekend...they re like the awesomest and sweetest!!)

We flew out on Sunday noon, after a long Saturday night beginning with my clients (s)IT(i) business unit's awesome possum of an annual dinner!

Now speaking of this annual dinner...that is deserving of a post by itself. Beginning with being totally impressed with the organization of the event (cant imagine the budget...they freakin gave out iMac's as lucky draw gifts, and thats not even the FIRST PRIZE!), right up to admiring the amazing percussion skills of my "sister that I never had" (Fizzy, project mate that got upset cuz I called her my "project mate" and not "friend" - you knw I love you Fizzy!) - how I love them drummer girls - , amazing live bands (all staffs yo...so much for thinking its a geek dinner) and super performances (capoeira, a number from Hairspray etc...again, all staffs yo!)

Not content with going there alone, I was lucky enough to have 3 gorgeous handbags for dates (read: DRIVER!).

The theme of the night was elements of white, made the night look pretty elegant and fancy!

Tart and his handbags, L-R - Pam, Mel and Stel. It was one night in hell!

Tart and handbags along with drummer girl going rum a pum pum

Arriving in Manila, the team (minus the Project Manager) quickly checked in and hit the shopping mall immediately! Adventure really began when all 3 ladies need to look for shoes (Pam being a Charles and Keith whore really did her research of that store located in the shopping complex near our hotel...hmmm, I wonder if she chose the hotel simply cuz its near that shop?!) So imagine Pam's frustrations realising after treasure hunting the whole complex only to realise the treasure location is under construction! Oh man the frust on her face was 100x worst than when one of her incompetent project manager asked her whats the plan of the project plan...for the 100th time!

Until the Tart have to save the day...in fine print it says the store (or whats left of the store) has shifted to the TEENS AND KIDS dept! Pam insisted that it ll NEVER be in the kids dept...but like the other shoe use to say...Impossible is Nothing...I doubly insisted of no harm checking it out, and lo and behold, with an area no bigger than my office cubicle, lay a few racks of shoes and boxes with the banner CHARLES & KEITH emblazoned across, I swore I saw Pam reached climax...multiple times! It took her 20mins to pick the ones she wanted and in the end she purchased two pairs! Even then...her face was still flustered with heat still emancipating from her cheeks!

Anyways I could definitely understand her relief and sighs of contentment. For one, I somehow have a little fetish on really great looking shoes WORN by women (need to emphasize so as not to confuse ppl that I enjoy seeing women wearing sexy heels, not ME wearing them!). Somehow I am sure it definitely allows women to showoff their hidden sexual charms. Somehow those shoes, with the right height on the heels and straps going around the right (not slutty) way, it just screams SEXY! And somehow I totally agree that mens best invention for women was and will always be the heels! So yes...although despite the lack of eye candies in office, the shoes maketh the best replacement! And yes...I do compliment Pam for wearing really nice pairs...so am glad I helped her achieve her feets insatiable appetite to look good!

Anyways...to end this little post, I would like to quote the HR Manager which welcomed us;


"I hope you get to know Manila, but dont let Manila know you..."

March 8th...

Mini Tarts: Ok ok...i know its like forever for an update! Still not quitting this blogging thing... :P

On the political side of things in Malaysia, March 8th marked a momentous day for democracy. The “political tsunami”, given the “disastrous” result for the ruling government where they lost the 2/3rd majority barring some untouchables seats in several states, saw the opposition gain hold of 5 states (something totally unprecedented).

It was also a truly memorable day in terms of rekindling lost friendship. Having practised my right as a citizen yearning for a major change in the country’s political scene early in the morning, I caught the next bus down south to Singapore.
The occasion; Jennie Lee’s much anticipated return to this side of the world (well she’s a Pinoy, dropping by the island to catch up with several other friends before heading for home).

The least I could do is drop by for a visit myself. Guess the halfway round the world trip from Germany was irrelevant to my 600km trip from KL to Singapore.

I still remember my last vivid memories of Jennie…she was the sweet angel soaking my tears while I cried and sobbed my eyes dry as I left Bonn for the final time (I stained her blouse for sure!). Accompanying me in my trip to Frankfurt airport (although not purposely for my departure), it was nice having someone to be there as I took in my last journey in a German ICE (inter city express) train while reminiscing of what WAS to be my Germany Journey.

It was apt as well that she was the last person I got to spend my time with as she was one of the first friend I got introduced too as I began my the Germany Journey. Our friendship spanned through many walks to her home, cooking sessions, Asian nights, long, fantastic stories and gossips, pizzas by the field in spring and summer, shopping, road trips…she definitely was a chapter in itself! Oh how would I then miss this occasion of meeting up with her again…even though its for exactly 24hours!

What made it a MUST NOT MISS is the fact that Shook and Amit would be there as well! Irony has it that both these other integral individuals in my life have not met prior to this…despite hearing tales and stories bout each other often enough to know they both can definitely click upon meeting up! This is thanks of course to me and Jen sharing tales of Amit to Shook plus Shook’s fetish of Indian men! Put all this elements together and we re gonna have one really memorable and unforgettable day! Add in a few extra Pinoys (courtesy of friends of Jen’s…hey that’s a nice ring to it!) and you ll get more laughters and songs for all you know! Guess the one thing to make this totally PERFECT would be meeting in a German themed restaurant!

Well, that was where we went for brunch the following day! A Bavarian themed restaurant to be exact, which brought all the fantastic memories of Rheinlust (THE brunch place amongst us Bonn residents) come together! Our meeting had everything that a few good friends who haven’t seen each other for ages had…stories, gossips, updates, laughter, cam whoring (we re ASIANS…plus we ve got new DSLR’s to show off!)…everything but the sentimentality of meeting up again after sooo many months! I guess the very desire to see each other again plus the fact that knowing it isn’t impossible (taking that very weekend as an example) helped make it to be a SEE YOU SOON, rather than a GOODBYE….

Jen, Me and Shook
German Food!
Jenny in all her glory before chowing down
Me and Shook along with all Pinoy Sweeties!

And still staying with the island that is Singapore…

Now every now and then one can have their random blonde moments. I for one probably have a top 5 blonde moment! However what happened this time wins it hands down for being the ULTIMATE BLONDE MOMENT for moi!

Now while in Bonn, I never had the chance to watch the super musical that’s based on Queen’s music, titled We Will Rock You. It was a staple performance in Cologne (some 30 mins away from Bonn) yet I think the thing that turned me off was that it was done in German! (yuck!)
Nevertheless, upon hearing that they re doing a 2-3weeks show in Singapore (why oh why don’t these fantastic acts ever come to Malaysia!?), I jumped at the chance to watch it on its final day. Accompanying my colleague on a road trip along with her two other friends on a Saturday morning, I diligently advised and reminded them if they ve done their checklist (ie. Passport, money, tickets etc).

However fate would play a cruel game with me when after the 6 hour ride and upon reaching the border on the Singapore side, I realised that the passport I was holding all the while (and YES I DID CHECK…somehow not thoroughly * shy * ) was actually my MUMS!!!! *smacks forehead*

My colleague were in total disbelief that the least they could do was laugh the shit out of me…which I duly allowed cuz I never felt sooooooo STUPID! (well I did have other stupid moments, but this tops it all!).

My brain quickly worked overtime (after all the stupidity, it took a while to even deduct how to smile) and analysed what went wrong…I woke up and groggily stumbled into the family drawer to get my passport, which was easily identified by the heaps of passport sized photos which I have in MY passport. Well unfortunately…the photos were transferred to my mum’s passport (I then found out it was my mum who shifted it!)…and thus begun my apathy towards being THOROUGH with my checking (does this now justify why I hate auditing and double checking my work!) of the passport which I brought! Believe me the thought that crossed my mind when I was stuck at the situation includes actually PRETENDING to be the holder of the passport! The things you would think when you get stuck in a rut!

When the girls were done laughing me off, my colleague actually offered me her car to drive back and get my passport (the musical was the next day). Me however was too tired to even think of driving a total of 12 hours to and fro (must be the thinking!). With that, I just considered the RM100+ ticket burnt and despite efforts to sell it the next day…I knew it was gone. But I guess nothing could be so much gone as to my pride and dignity…duly shown in full drama and comedy that it should be rated PG13 for the absurdity and stupidity that was me!

See Shell seaShells on the sea shore...

How apt is this photo...? Too bad I cant get a perfect Shell.

On that extra day of the Feb, I had the benefit of attending (read: FREE!) another client event. This time its their Family Day and the destination was Pangkor Island.

Objectives of the weekend;
- meet more colleagues
- chil-lax (chill + relax)
- get maybe some work done
- most importantly...get intimate with my Japanese partner...A200!

The fact that there was some work to be done didnt bother much. Best part...it was a road trip all the way to the island...a great ride, good music, fun people... thats what the "chil-laxin" (chill + relaxin) was all about.

Here are some snapshots of the weekend...

Apparently over here you get heaps of hornbills too...not just Sarawak.

Poor cute lost nekkid boy...



Little kid oblivious to the action...


Telematch morning






Your's truly had to emcee his groups performance.




HORNBILLS!!! They just love to pose!


Beach bowling anyone?


This is a common shot...me stuffing my mouth with food!

For more shots...check out
1) http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=93940&l=02930&id=729675581

2) http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=93946&l=a08a1&id=729675581

My new girlfriend

Mini tart: Bless me readers for I have sinned. Its been more than 2 months since my last posting. Throughout that period, I have promised to at least update my blog yet time have not been of essence. Therefore, I wish to convey my sins in the form of what I have done the past 2 months.
I have;
- turned 26, got sloshed for the first time and puke my birthday drinks all over the hotel sink and woke up trying to figure out what happened the night before (damn that was an awesome night!)
- spent a quiet New Years Eve with some friends (notably people whom I've spent my abroad period with) and witnessing for the very first time a countdown in Malay!
- attended my clients Annual Dinner with a Retro theme dressed as a 70's James Bond...only to be mistaken for the head waiter
- went for a cocktail themed party dressed up as mojito
- celebrated Chinese New Year at home although had the chance to go to the East Coast with a couple of babes (still regretting that).
- made my first tiramisu to much success
- gambled and won (was supposed to donate some to the church but I forgotten my wallet...serious!)
- had THE BEST clubbing night thus far back home when I was introduced to heavenly creatures, namely the former national rhythmic gymnast team (the whole gang!). It was a perfect ten night!
- spent Single Awareness Day (aka Valentines) organizing a dinner for my projects workshop, thus rubbing salt to wound in terms of ensuring I've no plans for the night.
- picked up salsa again

Did I mention she is Japanese?
The text below was taken from my update mail to my Bonn gang. It definitely took them by surprise...

"... I didnt tell you ppl I have a new girlfriend now! Am sooooo totally in love with her...I ll show you a pic of her soon! We re still at the early stages, hence its pretty tough getting the right picture at first..lots of buttons needed to be pushed here and there, but am sure we ll get it right pretty soon! But hey, its during this time the relationship is always the best!! Discovering each other...Anyways shes a gorgeous Japanese beauty...yups, looking east now. The one thing that made me fall in love with her...its just the moment she let me grip her. Holding her petite body...it feels like every smooth curves were meant to be shaped along my grip.

Cant wait to show her to you soon...havent got the right picture yet. "


Below was the picture of HER and me "GRIPPING HER PETITE BODY"





Thats right folks...finally got myself a DamnSexyLookingRabbit as a birthday gift. Finally...Portuguese Tart turned from cam whore to Photog!

I am...

Typical of Chinese traditions (championed by my chinese half, my mum of course!), I was made to wait till midnight to pick the magic 4 digit! How? Ten pieces of papers depicting digits 0-9 are rolled in a jar. I will then jiggle the jar till a piece of paper drops out (miraculously only ONE always do). Do that for 4 times and voila...we're buying the number!!

Next was a rather peculiar one, my mum insisted that its a tradition...happening to me for the very first time! The prosperity infused tradition: Eat two boiled eggs! Well...I figured since the first meal as I turned 26 was nasi lemak (traditional and popular Malaysian food of rice cooked in coconut milk served with anchovies, nuts, chili paste and eggs), why not?? Prosperity hath come upon thee who ate two eggs...so they say!

Well...I am waiting! 2+6 = 8 (the most prosperous of all numbers in Chinese-dom). So its 2+6 = 2oo8. 28 is my birthdate...so I guess it ought to be a jolly good year! Bring it on...!

Recap of Dec activities

So Manila came and went...nothing but work in a satellite city known as Alabang, the Manila version of Cheras or Kajang. Did spend some quality nights in Makati, smack in central Manila, where the really good clubs, bars (with half naked girls dancing) and coups occasionally happen. Nope...didnt see no tank ramming into someone's wedding.

Speaking of wedding, the previous Sunday saw me presiding my 2nd wedding this year. Not only that I was also the emcee for the night...this was the wedding of the sister of a good friend of mine whom I grew up with. Thankfully nothing went wrong, which then made this question creep up...what if I were to do this emceeing thing fulltime!? It's not hell of a money...but it does get me to weddings with great food, the attention on me and of course...heaps of possibly good looking women! :)


However...the bride was soooo caught up in her wedding (who wouldnt?!) that she forgot to introduce me to her good looking friends. Instead when the last of the crowd left the hotel...it was just me, the bride (with family and close friends) and lots and lots and lots of admirers...all at an age where I believe their GRANDAUGHTERS would ve suited me! So there I go again...presiding yet another couple as husband and wife, emceeing a first wedding dinner successfully...and playing Mr Charming to aunts and grandaunts alike!

Nevertheless...I am opening up my humble (and excellent) service of playing priest (again) or even emceeing any one of my good friends weddings...I dont charge (much), but you MUST do PROPER introductions! :D And they say if I preside/emcee a third wedding...I ll suffer the ignominy of not getting hitched myself!! I say nay to that...and aye to the wedding emcee extraordinaire!! Bring on the weddings...whether by accidents or not!





The presider cum emcee in action. Congrats once again to the newlyweds, Yuen Fen and Chee Keong.

**************************************December**********************************


Now...its December and did I already mention how I bloody love Decembers?! 2007's Dec is sooo gonna be a blast that I pity Jan 2008 cuz it'll be my hangover month! We've got party's, birthday bashes, company dinners, Christmas, New Years Eve and to top it all off...Malaysia is on SALE!!!

Deloitte Consulting SEA (KL Office) Christmas Dinner, at Izzi KL

So now that I am done with emceeing the wedding, last Saturday saw me emceeing (and being part of the organizing committee) my company's Christmas dinner as well! The theme was "Retro 80" and noticably the ones who barely remembered the 80's made the most effort in dressing the part!! Case in point...allow me to introduce Ah Piao Wan... Eric trying his best to look like 80s Chow Yun Fatt!

Well, the ones that are didnt...lets just say maybe the 80's is one decade they dont particularly want to remember!


Me and the Choy's...Shooks and her yummy sis!

Dinner went super smoothly with great Italian food plus the nights activities really got the crowd going! Having 3 (and a half) ex AIESEC members there, you can be sure we ll induce some AIESEC culture in this event! Namely for us being the loudest, wildest and craziest people...and with a little drinking competition where "On your marks, get set, GO" is translated to "Thumbs on the table, chins on the table, eyes on water, GO!"






"Thumbs on the table..."





"Chins on the table..."








"Eyes on the water..."



Superstar ROLL!


Needless to say...we got a few people reintroducing what they had for dinner in the toilet!
"You want a piece of me...?! Or two!?"

Stand up for the Best Dressed Santa!

Anyways...the dinner closed with several Christmas carols being sung (rather enthusiastically I must say, even for Nat King Cole's "Chestnut Burning on an Open Fire"...it definitely was the red wine singing). Shortly before midnight...the gang than preceded to head to Velvet. I must admit...I am a Velvet virgin...so entering it the first time was amazingly awesome!! Crowds were bloody gorgeous (not for the men though), deco was eye pleasing and music was playing to the grooves of hip hop and R&B, my type of sounds to make the moves! One to come again!




I think the pre party to the real party really went well! Whats the "real party" all about...??Dec 19th...the Threesome Birthday Bash!!! Cuz having it threesome is always better than doing it alone!

Mabuhay from the Land of Smiles!

I can officially call myself a jet setter now! Not that I am complaining...but my next assignment within the current work that I do with Project Kerang had brought me to the land with the "Happiest People in the World"! What better way to add on to my fav month of the year!!

Where else can you find people who sing / hum to songs while they work (and we all know they can ALL sing!), have a local donut store named "Go-Nuts Donuts" and selling balud (THAT delicacy which you can only find here, the half formed chicken/duck in an egg) in a little store called "Dr Qwek Qwek, the Egg specialist"!

And I find Tagalog to be extremely exotic...not that I didnt before. Before this the only Pinoys that I know off was of Jennie's, Liv's and Amy's, even with these 3 their accents are sooo captivating and catchy! (as I type I am saying my words similar to how a Pinoy would!)

So, to begin with I have already been mistaken for looking like a Pinoy in the home office (my surname did confuse people apparently). You would think thats just a one off! No way!

As you embark in the Manila airport, every non-Pinoy will be issued an embarkation form. As for me, I only knew of this form ONLY WHEN I was at the immigration counter...after queueing up one bloody long line!
So you would think I may need a different approach when it comes to meeting the Philippina's (of which I vouch they are the prettiest girls in South East Asia, not withanding the Thai girls who are a close-shave second!).

Thus, in a Salsa club...and trying my best to look unPinoy.

me: Hey there, you know you look very much like a Chinese Malaysian? (I was standing next to a pretty thing in the bar)

PT: (balked at the thought of looking Chinese, perhaps insulted...then fakes a laugh) No...really?

me: Yeah...but judging from your accent, you re definitely not. By ppl here think I look like a Philippino...

PT: (giggle)... No you dont! But what are you?

Success...

Anyways, location wise I am far away from where a coup recently happened. Quite unfortunate really as that is the central business part of Manila. Was soo looking forward to another possible tank crashing into a hotel or office building! So where do we have to be based?? Now think of central Manila as KL. Where I am based, Alabang...which is a satelite city, is your Msian version of Kajang/Cheras in terms of development and distance! Why am I refraining from using Klang...hey, we ve got the worlds largest Jusco for a shopping mall up at High Hills (Bukit Tinggi). Here...well, nvm.

But the best view is from the highest point of the hotel I am staying, right at the 31st floor where you oversee Alabang and the rest of Manila central, surrounded by the sea and few more small islands. Its definitely a view I wouldnt mind having dinner at hotels na (the Pinoy's version of Lah)!